When Forever Ends
by Jaddis
Summary: It only takes a moment for your life to fall apart. A single night can take away all hope for a happy ending. But what if you had the chance to go back and change it? Could you stop a murder before it happened?
1. Chapter 1: Then

When Forever Ends

**I know I should be updating my other TMNT story, but this has been in my head a long time. Don't worry, I'm still working on _Who are You? Wait, Who am I?_ This story is going to be divided into two sections every other chapter. There will be Then, which takes place in the past, and Now, which is in the present. Eventually, the two time lines will meet. Confused? You'll figure it out. Anyway, here we go. I don't want to repeat myself each chapter, so I'll say here that I don't own the turtles.**

"_I don't wanna be told to grow up!_

_And I don't wanna change, so you better give up!_

_No, I don't wanna change, so you better give up!_

_Cause I'm not gonna change, I don't wanna grow up!"_

"_Grow Up", _**Simple Plan**

"Mikey!"

The shout penetrated the still air of the sewers, taking away any chance of a quiet morning. Leonardo sighed heavily, trying to block out the sounds of his furious brother's rampage. Was it really too much to ask for a hour of peace for meditation? _Yeah, it was_, Leo thought as he heard something break in the kitchen.

He reluctantly stood up, preparing himself once again to separate his younger brothers, or more likely to keep Raphael from killing Michelangelo. It was times like this when Leo hated being the oldest. For the last few weeks, Michelangelo, or Mikey, had been more annoying than usual, which meant that Raphael's temper was shorter than usual. Leo walked into the kitchen to find his brothers racing around the table.

"GET BACK HERE, YA LITTLE-" Raphael stopped as he threw a chair at Mikey, who easily dodged it.

"Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me!" Mikey snickered playfully, bouncing up and down like a hyperactive child at a candy store. Raphael snarled and launched himself across the table at his little brother, causing them to crash into the wall.

"Leo!" Mikey shrieked, now getting pummeled by Raphael, "Help me!"

"Will you two knock it off?" Leo snapped, trying to pull Raphael off their little brother, "Master Splinter is trying to meditate."

After another minute of struggling, Leo managed to pull the Raphael away from Mikey, who quickly jumped out of his angry brother's reach. Raphael send Michelangelo a death glare, while the latter grinned sheepishly.

"This is the fourth time this week you've gotten in a fight," Leo said sternly, "If you can't get along with each other, then neither of you are going out on patrol tonight."

"Don't look at me," Raphael snarled, his heavy Brooklyn accent adding to the air of hostility he was giving off, "It's shell-fer-brains fault." He pointed accusingly at Mikey, who immediately put on his best sad puppy eyes.

"Raph's just being a killjoy," Mikey whined, "I just asked him if he wanted to play Final Fantasy."

"Ask?" Raphael snorted, "Ya jumped up n' down screamin' "Play with me" and started singin' show tunes when I said no."

"Everyone likes show tunes," Mikey said simply, as if that solved everything, "Come on, Raph, I'll be your best friend." Mikey dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Raphael's legs.

"Let go of me, so I can pound yer shell in," Raphael growled, trying to pry Mikey off him.

"Like I'm gonna fall for that again," Mikey said, quickly yanking Raphael's feet from underneath him. Raphael fell directly on his shell with a loud crack before pulling his little brother down with him.

Leo sighed as they started wrestling. Once again, he wished his two youngest brothers could be more like Donatello. He may occasionally blow up the lab, but at least he was quiet most of the time.

"Break it up!" Leo yelled, finally losing his temper, "Now!" He had always been proud of his ability to stay calm during any given situation, a trait that earned him the title of leader. However, there was only so much one turtle can take. His outburst had successfully captured his brothers' attention.

"What's yer problem?" Raphael asked, holding Mikey in a choke hold.

"Yeah," Mikey gasped, starting to turn blue.

"Raphael, let Mikey go," Leo said firmly. Raphael stood up, carelessly throwing Mikey down, "Mikey, stop being annoying, and Raph, you know Mikey's annoying, so stop letting it get to you."

"Fine," Raphael snarled, "It's my fault! Everything's my fault! Just let 'em get away with everything!" He stormed out of the kitchen, muttering darkly under his breath. Seconds later his door slammed shut so hard that a few pipes rattled.

"What crawled up his shell?" Mikey smirked, either not noticing or ignoring his eldest brother's glare.

"Michelangelo," Leo said seriously, "You really need to stop pushing Raph so much. One day you're going to go too far, and I won't be there to help you."

"But he makes it so easy," Mikey said, "I''ll just ask Don. At least he knows how to have fun." He ran out of the room, gracefully leaping over the broken chair Raphael had thrown. "Oh, Donnie," He sang, "You wanna play Final Fantasy? It's the tenth one, and I know you like to stare at Lulu."

Leo couldn't help but smile at his little brother's antic. He wasn't worried about Don losing his temper. Unlike Raphael, Don had learned how to ignore Mikey's teasing. A few minutes later Mikey came back, obviously not successful in getting Don to play video games with him. Leo thought that Mikey would ask him, but the sounds of the PlayStation soon filled the air.

Deciding that Raphael had had enough time to cool down, Leo went to his room, only to find it empty. There was only one other place that his hot-headed brother could be. Even before he entered the training room, Leo could hear the sounds of his brother taking his anger out on a punching bag. Leo watched Raphael silently before stepping forward.

"Raph-"

"Don't bother," Raphael grunted, not bothering to look up from his assault on the punching bag, "I get it. I need ta control my temper, and stop beatin' up on poor, little Mikey." He hit the bag so hard that the chains holding it up started to groan.

"Raphael, I never said that-" Leo started to say.

"Yeah, but it was what ya were thinkin'" Raphael replied bitterly, "It's always me that starts the fight, never Mikey. He should do us all a favor and jump off the Empire State Building."

"Raphael," Leo said disapprovingly, "I know Mikey can be-"

"A pain in the shell," Raphael interrupted.

"-a bit much sometimes," Leo continued, ignoring Raphael's comment, "But you always do this. You get mad at him, then Mikey gives you the puppy eyes, and you end up forgiving him."

"Well, he's gonna get what he deserves one day," Raphael muttered, turning away from Leo.

"Like getting his head bashed in with a metal pipe?" Leo asked, feeling slightly guilty as Raphael winced.

"You always throw that back in my face, don't cha," Raphael said angrily, rounding on Leo, "Even Mikey doesn't mention that anymore."

"I don't mean to throw it in your face," Leo said wearily, "I just want you to think about the consequences."

"Consequences?" Raphael snorted, "It's not like I would've actually hurt 'em," A brief pause filled the air.

"Really," Leo said, raising an eye ridge in disbelief, "If I hadn't stopped you, you could have controlled yourself?" A flicker of uncertainty crossed Raphael's face, but vanished as he narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah," he said, "I would've." Without another word, Raphael walked out the room, leaving his older brother staring at his retreating shell.

Raphael was still sulking a few hours later during dinner. Splinter had found out, like he always did, about the fight. As a result, not only did Raphael had to do extra training, but he had to eat standing up because of the broken chair.

"Pass me another piece of pizza, Don," Mikey said, reaching across Raphael as Don handed him his seventh slice of pizza . "I never realized how comfy these chairs are. Too bad some of us have to eat standing up." Mikey gave an over dramatic sigh, still grinning at Raphael, who continued to ignore him. Seeing this as a challenge, Mikey swallowed his entire pizza in one bite, before turning to Raphael. "You know, bro," he said, "You really need to control that temper. I mean, threatening to throw me off the Empire State Building and all."

"You were listenin' in on me?" Raphael snarled, "Anyway, I said you should do us all a favor 'n jump off it, so we wouldn't have ta deal with ya anymore."

"Raphael," Splinter said firmly, "You will not speak about your brother like that!"

"Yes, Master," Raphael muttered, looking down as his father's eyes seemed to gaze into his soul.

"He also said he'd kill me in my sleep," Mikey said, not paying attention to his other brothers' warning glares.

"What?" Raphael yelled, "I never said that! How 'bout I cut off yer tongue 'n feed it ta Klunk?" Mikey screamed shrilly as Raphael reached for his sais.

"Raphael!" Splinter said, finally looking angry, "If you cannot control yourself, then go to your room. I also want you to meditate with me tomorrow morning."

Raphael groaned at the thought of waking at five in the morning. Mikey just smirked as his older brother left the room.

"Michelangelo," Splinter said, after Raphael was gone, "You need to stop baiting your brother."

"But he threatened to cut my tongue out!" Mikey exclaimed, "I'm the victim here!"

Splinter sighed. "I know Raphael needs to learn to control his temper, but you are also at fault, Michelangelo."

"Okay," Mikey said, standing up, "I'll give Ralphie a big hug and tell him how sorry I am." He ran out the room, the tails of his orange bandana swinging wildly behind him.

"That's going to go well," Don mumbled to Leo, who nodded.

Splinter shook his head, as he reached for his staff. "I am going to watch my stories now," he said, "Make sure your brothers behave."

"Yes, Sensei," Leo and Don said, bowing their heads respectfully.

"So, how long do you think it'll be before Raph loses it again?" Leo asked his intellectual brother.

"I'd say anytime now," Don replied.

Right on cue, Mikey's trademark shriek pierced the air, as a dull thump came from the hallway.

"Get back here, so I can kill you!" Raphael shouted.

"No way, dude," Mikey yelled back, "You can't fight me in Donnie's lab, unless you want to blow us up."

"Shell," Don groaned, "They better not break anything." As Don stood up, he heard Mikey shout the one word that you never wanted to hear from him, especially if he was in a room filled with dangerous chemicals.

"Opps!"

Don and Leo ran into the hallway just as a great plume of smoke burst from Donatello's laboratory.

"What did they do?" Don cried, his eyes already starting to burn from the heavy, musky odor filling the air. Leo immediately jumped through the thick wall of smoke, the heat slamming into him with the force of a train.

"Raph!" Leo gasped, his lungs searing with every breath he took, "Mikey!" He coughed as tears began to well up in his burning eyes.

"Leo!" Mikey's voice sounded muffled among the boiling heat. Leo stumbled forward blindly, trying fruitlessly to feel his way to Mikey. He felt something grab his ankle and looked down to see a green hand gripping him.

"Mikey!" Leo choked, thankful that his youngest brother had enough sense to stay low on the ground. Leo pulled Mikey up and dragged him toward where he hoped was the door. As worried about Raphael as he was, Leo had to focus on getting Mikey out. He knew by now that Master Splinter would know what was going on. Mikey suddenly bent over and started to cough violently.

"Leo," Mikey wheezed, his voice just slightly above a whisper, "I-I can't breathe."

"Just a little further," Leo grunted, continuing to push his little brother forward, despite the fact that he was growing weaker by the second. His legs were trembling so hard that he could barely make it out the door. He desperately hoped that Raphael was okay. Mikey let out a hacking cough that sounded agonizing, and then, to Leo's horror, he sank to the ground. Leo opened his mouth to tell Mikey to get up, but all he could taste now was the smoke creeping down his throat. He stepped forward, but tripped and fell to the ground. The last thing Leo saw was a blurry figure leaning over him, then darkness covered him like a warm, thick blanket.

Leo groaned and opened his eyes, gazing wearily around him. He groaned at the pounding ache in his head, wincing as his throat burned. Leo coughed, trying to remember what had happened. Slowly sitting up, he found he was alone in the living room. He thought that Raphael and Michelangelo would be going at it by now. Suddenly, it hit Leo. His brothers fighting. All the smoke. Trying to get to Mikey.

Leo sprang off the couch, ignoring the sudden dizziness that descended upon him. Was Mikey okay? Did Raphael get out? Leo ran towards the lab, almost colliding with Don, who was walking into the living room.

"Don!" He said, trying to stay calm, but ultimately failing, "Is Mikey alright? What about Raph? Did everyone make it out?" Leo stopped as he started to cough.

"Slow down, Leo," Don said, resting a hand on his brother's shoulder as he heaved, "You need to lay back down. You inhaled a lot of smoke."

"Is everyone okay," Leo said, not worrying about himself until he knew his family was safe.

"Everyone's fine," Don replied, "I got Raph out after I saw he wasn't with you. Basically, he and Mikey knocked over some chemicals that resulted in what I guess you could call a giant smoke bomb. Luckily, there wasn't really a fire," Don gazed at Leo, his eyes narrowing as he examined his older brother, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"My head hurts and my throat's sore," said Leo, "But other than that I'm fine. How long was I out?"

"Just a few hours," Don said, "Most of the smoke has cleared, but it still smells. I can't even go into my lab without almost passing out."

"Where are Mikey and Raph?" Leo asked, surprised that his younger brothers haven't shown up yet.

"They're talking with Master Splinter," Don said. Something in his expression told Leo that it was Splinter who was doing most of the talking.

"They'll never learn," Leo said, shaking his head.

"Just then, the door to Splinter's door opened, and Raphael came out. The irritation on his face turned to concern when he saw Leo.

"Leo, you okay, bro?" He asked casually, not fooling Leo with his charade. By now Leo knew better than to argue with Raphael.

"Yeah," Leo replied.

"Good," Raphael smirked, "Then I won't have no one ta beat up durin' practice."

"You wish," Leo snorted, deciding to play along.

It was times like this that Leo cherished the most, when he and his brothers could just mess around with each other without worrying about the safety of the world. Leo should have realized that moments like this never lasted.

"Hey, Leo! You're alive!" Mikey appeared suddenly and jumped on Leo enthusiastically, "Thank God you're alive!" He pretended to sob as he hugged his oldest brother, "I thought you were going to leave me with Ralphie!"

"Mikey," Don said sternly, "I told you not to move around much just yet."

"I'm fine, Donny," Mikey whined, "No smoke can stop the...BATTLE NEXUS CHAMPION!"

"You should of just left 'em there, Leo," Raphael muttered angrily.

"You're just mad 'cuz you have to do more extra training," Mikey said smugly.

"You're the one that broke that stuff," Raphael snapped at his little brother.

"Because you pushed me," Mikey shot back.

"I wouldn't have pushed ya, if ya weren't an idiot."

"You push me into dangerous chemicals, and I'm the idiot?"

"Will you shut up?" Don said angrily. All three brothers looked at him in disbelief. "Leo and I risked our lives to save you from an accident you caused, and you're still fighting?"

Both Raphael and Mikey had the decency to looked ashamed.

"Donatello is right, my sons," Splinter said, appearing behind his sons from thin air, an ability no one had yet to figure out, "Over the years, I have watched you four grow up and train together, forming a bond that I am proud to say has strengthened. However, if this bond should break, so will this family."

"Sorry, Sensei," Mikey said sheepishly, "I guess we kind of got carried away."

"Yeah," Raphael mumbled, his pride not quite allowing him to apologize, "It won't happen again. At least, not today."

"Anyone else feeling a group hug?" Mikey grinned , holding his arms out eagerly.

"No," The three older brothers said simultaneously, walking away.

"Sorry, my son," Splinter said, "Now that I know you all are okay, I must get back to my stories before I am interrupted again."

"Come on!" Mikey yelled to the empty room, "Where's the love?"

**What do you think? Should I continue? The next chapter will be depressing. Serious angst ahead. Poor Raph... It's so fun to torture him with heartache and guilt. **


	2. Chapter 2: Now

When Forever Ends

"_...But I know if I could do it over,_

_I would trade, give away, all the words_

_That I saved in my heart that I left unspoken."_

"_What Hurts the Most", _**Rascal Flatts**

Rain poured down in torrents, completely soaking Raphael to the bone. The wind howled miserably, seeming to echo his feelings. Raphael was no longer aware of the cold rain running down his skin. He continued to gaze blankly at the desolate alley below him. An entire army of Foot ninja could have jumped on the rooftop across from him, and Raphael wouldn't even had blinked.

Hours of sitting in the rain had numbed him, and now the only thing Raphael felt was the familiar, cold emptiness that had made a home inside him. Lightening streaked across the sky, reaching out like fingers. Raphael vaguely wondered how it would feel it he got struck by it. Would it be quick and painless, like falling asleep? Or perhaps he would be completely helpless and defenseless as he slowly died, just like...

Raphael growled, trying to shake the thoughts from his head. No matter what he did, they always ambushed him unexpectedly. Tears started to spill from his eyes, blending with the rain that slid down his face. Raphael automatically wiped them away, fruitlessly attempting to hold back the sudden emotions rising in him. At least he had shown some emotion after that night. Don had been a complete mess, and even Master Splinter had locked himself in his room for days. However, Leo hadn't shown any sign of depression over their brother's untimely death. He just trained or meditated all day, only stopping to eat. Even then, he would never once look at Raphael.

_Why would he?_ Raphael thought bitterly. Why would he want to look at a murderer? _Murderer._ Raphael trembled, barely holding back a sob. He dimly wondered if it were normal to switch emotions so quickly. Raphael peered down at the alley twenty stories below him, and contemplated, not for the first time, if he should just end it all. Despite everything that had happened, Raphael couldn't do it, no matter how badly he wanted to see his little brother again. He knew Mikey would never forgive him for doing something that stupid and reckless. Raphael wouldn't make that same mistake again. He learned his lesson at the cost of his brother's life.

At least Mikey had died like a true hero, which was probably how he would have wanted to go. _No, _Raphael corrected himself,_ He didn't want to go at all._ The rain slowed down slightly, as thunder rumbled from a distance. Raphael stood up, his bones popping as he moved for the first time in hours. For a moment, Raphael just gazed around, as if expecting someone to appear from the curtain of rain. Of course, just like every other night, there was no one there. He knew his brothers wouldn't bother looking for him.

Just a few weeks ago, Leo would have chewed Raphael out for being out all night without telling anyone. But now, Raphael could probably tell his family he was going to Mexico, and they wouldn't even care. Ever since Mikey died, it seemed as if Leo and Don had pushed their younger brother from their lives, whether intentionally or purposely, Raphael wasn't sure. He was surprised how much this hurt him. Even his own father wouldn't look him in the eyes. A deep part of Raphael wished that his family would just scream at him and tell him it was his fault, because anything was better than being shunned like this.

How he wished he could go back in time and make sure this never happened. Or he could at least make sure his little brother knew how much he cared about him. Even as Raphael walked dejectedly through the night, the rain just barely trickling now, he kept thinking back to all the times he had insulted or ignored Mikey. His body continued to move on autopilot, but Raphael's mind was filling with images and sounds from the past.

_Mikey running up to Raphael with a huge grin on his face._

_ "I'm bored, Raph. Play with me!"_

_ Raphael annoyed at being interrupted while watching wrestling._

_ "Go away, shell-fer-brains. I'm busy."_

_ A six-year old Mikey standing beside Raphael's bed with tears in his eyes._

_ "Raphie, I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you?"_

_ "Quit being such a big baby, Mikey."_

Raphael started running away blindly, trying to escape the more recent memories threatening to overwhelm him.

_"Come on Raph, I'll be your best friend."_

_ "He should do us all a favor and jump off the Empire State Building."_

_ "Well, he's gonna get what he deserves one day."__Stop! _Raphael screamed silently, clutching his head tightly as the voices grew louder and more urgent. He howled in anguish, punching the brick wall beside him, welcoming the pain that shot up his arm. Raphael slid down the wall and sank to his knees. The voices were screaming now. All he could see was Mikey's eyes, clouded with pain, gazing at him pleadingly, begging him to end his pain.

_"You idiot! Why do ya have ta screw everything up?"_

_ "You need to stop being so hard on Mikey. He's the only little brother you'll have."_

_ "Fine, leave then. I don't care if I never see ya again."_

_ "MIKEY! God...oh, God...please...no.."_

Raphael moaned and bent forward, resting his head against the ground. _Mikey, please come back. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it._ Despite himself, Raphael couldn't help but think back to when everything had started to go wrong.

**Insert dramatic music here. Next chapter, we go back to the happy, little mutant family. Well, happy for now. **


End file.
